I know every word...

Hindsight by John Reuben

I screamed to God out of frustration
After another day of waking and hating the fact
That I’m still where I’m at
What’s the point of all of this
Cuz I’m not seeming to find it
Is it meaningless? I search the reason behind it
Because these moments seem to drag on forever
And these years on end seem to have never been this
Desperation has formed repetition within
Too insecure to pretend and I’m too weak to defend
Here it comes again all in my world again
Left with no direction no beginning no end
The days blend together and the weather never changes
Numb to the outcome but yet not quite painless
Aimless to whether or not I made a mistake
And if so how far is too far before it’s too late
Should I wait but then what would be too long
To reverse the effects if I was wrong

Hindsight is a beautiful thing
When you can look back and see what patience and time can bring

Is it a must that I’m here is it a must that I stay
In order to look forward must I look away
We're moving towards a new day
Unsure of what tomorrow will bring our way
I’m not even quite sure of what this day holds
I say we travel the unknown and watch it unfold
Hold today close while still reaching for tomorrow
Through the test of time I’ve seen joy overcome sorrow
So with every trial I endure
With hopes to mature into what I was created for
More than life itself I want life itself
Press past the present until forever is felt
And take hold of the hidden mystery
Wide eyed and open I now see differently
If it’s to be then give me the strength to be content
And find peace in knowing one day it will all make sense

Learning to accept the unexpected
Because the unknown wasn’t here for me to correct it
So I let it go and stopped trying to control the impossible
Simply put tossed in the shuffle
At a young age just like everyone else
So I don’t feel sorry for you or for myself
Love is bigger than that and I’m not below or above
The way it moves even though the things it does
To my train of thought can bring about doubt and uncertainty
Patience tends to not agree with my psyche
That’s more than likely just some pride in me
Fighting expectations of where I think my life should be
Selfishly I forget so quickly
Let me never forget Lord break me in humility
Some sort of amazing grace on me
As I look back upon my life and where You’ve taken me

Hear the call peace fall
From trial to triumph I want your hand in it all
Allow me to know where to stand in it all
Life Giver

its been a while...

I haven't blogged lately. And I should have been, because its ridiculously boring at work and writing is far better than being on facebook.

Sometimes I don't feel inspired when I want to be. I want to sit here and pour out words to the keyboard and make the reader smile. But not a whole lot of people read this. Just Mark and maybe Damaris. So I'll just type today.

The King blessed me today by letting me wake up again to my wonderful husband. My hair is doing nice things today, and I had some wonderful Bombay Chai with honey and milk. Its a pretty good day. I snuck in to work today wearing jeans, which is nice, because I love jeans. I'm listening to my wonderful husband's band, Blue Condition (here, and here, too...) and I'm so excited for whats in store for them. Hopefully very big things. Readers, become fans! They're gettin' big!

And, yes, its the day before Valentine's Day. Its never bothered when I was single like it bothers so many. I do think its a little cheesy.

OH MY! It is 2 weeks (almost) before our 1 year anniversary!!! WOW! March, 1st, people!! The Father is so gracious. I pray for 80 more years if we can live that long! I love Jeremy so very much, and I'm so proud of this first year! It has been fun!

And now, cute pictures:

This seems very Valentine's-y. Very cute. :) See, affection takes EFFORT!

Cuppa Tea. My new brew. MUCH healthier than coffee. True story.

OK, I don't remember where I got this picture, but I believe it was taken at an Australian Beach. Left side: fireworks, Right side: Lightening, Middle: Shooting Stars. - God. Is. Amazing. (click on pic for bigger image...)

Yes, I did get this tattoo on my right shoulder blade in red for my Grammy. My mommy got one, too.

Chelsa on her wedding day! The 506 girls!!! Laura, Alison, Chelsa, me and Damaris!!! BEAUTIFUL!