One year...

So its been a year since I met the family. And its been a year since I've written anything. I guess because I've been too busy living with 5 girls, quitting jobs, quitting school and planning a wedding. A lot has happened in a year.

I'll recap. I moved in with Chelsa, Damaris and Laura at the 506. Things got messy quick 'cause 4 girls living together can create, or rather merge, all the clutter. And it was only a 2 bedroom apartment. But it was amazing. Then Alison moved in. She's Damaris' friend from Belton/Temple. And later in the year, the girls kidnapped Natasha and she moved in, too. So 6 girls in a 2 bedroom apartment. Talk about living in community. The boys, Jacob, Derek and Trousey, lived down the street.

I dont believe I have enough time to go through all that happened. We took in a stray named Ashley and that lead to me owing almost $1000 to my old apartment. From various hospital visits to engagements, to not having jobs and finally having new jobs. The Father has taken us through so much, it seems like we could all write a book. And we all know He's not done yet. Cause He's still working and we're still trying to listen and love. And through all the tears and laughter, I know that we'd never take any of it back.

Ok, now for me and Jeremy. Its definitely been a fast year. So shortly after breaking off a year and a half long, spiritually damaging relationship with a non-believer, Jeremy and I went back and fourth with dating. I just wasnt sure or wasnt ready for a little bit before I knew I wanted to be with him. That was in June. We got engaged in September and married in March. I know it seems very quick, but I know it couldnt have happened any other way. The Father worked through that bad relationship to create this unbelievable experience with a family of believers that I coudnt have even known how to ask for. I praise Him for doing what he wants.

Not that all is ok. Life gets you weird sometimes. And not necessarily in the way you'd like. Its the weirdest thing in the world to go through depression when you never have before. Because before it actually happens, you dont really believe in it. You just kinda think it happens to people who are either really messed up or have lost all they have. But me? I'm here with an amazing group of friends, the best husband in the world and still I am crying uncontrollably, day after day. I didnt understand it. There was no reason for it. Either stress or subconciously not being able to deal with various things. I was scared in my own house. Terrified at night when we went to bed and scared to death in the morning when I woke up for work. Constantly doubting Jeremy's love for me. I hate it sometimes that I have to be on pills now to be not scared and to not cry so much. Damaris says that one day I dont have to be. That I'll be able to trust Him more than I do and it will be easier to deal with life. I also hate it that it has become hard for me to trust the Father, after all that has happened in the past year. I'll continue writing, and we'll see what the next year brings.